My Bat In The Belfry
by BoxOfScraps
Summary: Everyone's got one, so to speak.


"Good morning, Laverne." J.D said happily as he walked over to the large nurse's desk. "And how are we today?"

"Bite me." Laverne quickly spouted out. "Here." She quickly handed him a chart and started to walk away.

"Wait, what's the case with this one?"

Laverne sighed and turned around. "I don't know, but what I do know is that you are really getting on my nerves. Enjoy the Halloween show."

"Halloween show?" J.D quickly looked at the chart, then headed into the room. Though he wasn't paying attention to where he was going and ran into the Janitor.

"Hey, watch where you're going, idiot." The Janitor said. He pointed behind him with his mop. "Can't you read?"

J.D made an effort to look behind the Janitor, but there was nothing behind him. "I don't know what you mean, there's nothing to read behind you."

"What?" Janitor spun around, then quickly back to J.D. "Alright, what'd you do with my wet floor sign?"

"Why do you always assume it was me who did something to you?"

_"I totally did take it." _J.D thought to himself, then laughed a bit in his head.

The Janitor placed his mop on J.D's shoulder as he tried to pass. "I'm watching you, scooter. Hide something again, and this mop...will become a part of you."

"Dually noted." J.D stepped aside quickly, and ran down the hall to the patient's room.

Ted came by a few seconds later, and because of the non-existent wet floor sign, he slipped and fell. His papers scattered everywhere.

"Careful, wet floor." The Janitor said tiredly.

Ted groaned for a moment before finally giving an answer. "Thanks..."

Back at the patient's room, J.D had taken a moment to look at the chart before opening the door. "Okay, sir, so you claim to have-" Upon looking up he noticed that there was a man in what appeared to be an Iron Man suit sitting on the bed. "-got to be kidding me."

"I am Iron Man, and I have a boo-boo." Iron Man said in between sniffles. "Make it better, doctor." He held up his arm, which had a piece of armor missing as to show his...very tiny cut.

J.D looked at Iron Man for a moment, in disbelief, then grabbed a band-aid from his pocket and placed it on Iron Man's arm. "There. All better."

"Yay!" Iron Man hopped off of the table, good as new. "Now I guess I'll blast you. Bye!" He did just that. Tony blasted J.D into the corner of the room. "Well, now that I'm all better I guess I can-"

Suddenly, from the room just next to him, Turk could be heard shouting: "OH MY GOD, IT'S BATMAN!"

Tony raised his hand to the wall. "If this is really who I think it is, there's going to be hell to pay." He blasted the wall away, scaring the crap out of Turk...he screamed like a little girl. "YOU!"

"You!" Batman, who was on the bed, said not too long afterwords." He hopped out of the bed quickly, resulting in a large thud. Oh yeah, forgot to mention...he gained a couple pounds...or 100 or so.

"What the hell happened to you?" Iron Man muttered, lowering his weapon as to take the moment to laugh at Batman. "You're really out of shape, loser."

Batman reached for a Batarang, but his fat had flopped over his utility belt so he couldn't get to it easily. "When you transported me to that godforsaken Spongebob Squarepants planet, my only means to survive was to eat the annoying bastards themselves."

"Good Lord..."

"They tasted like marshmellow peeps..."

"Oh, well that's goo-"

"AND BLOOD!" Batman shouted quickly.

Iron Man paused for a moment to take all this in. "Okay, well... that got gross pretty quickly."

Batman finally removed the batarang from his belt. "And now, I'm going to make you pay...pay for what you did to me last time, and all the other stories before! DIE!" He tossed the Batarang, but it only went a few feet before hopelessly clanking to the ground. "I may have also neglected to work out."

"I can tell. My turn!" He blasted Batman in the stomach, but due to his weight, he didn't fly into the sky, but just into the cabinet in the corner. "I am Iron Man, and you'll never win...DICK!" Tony blasted off into the sky.

Turk, who had been in complete shock the whole time, snapped out of it a few minutes later. "Uh...oh, right. Mr...Batman, sir? The blood results are back and you've got diabetes."

Batman groaned loudly for all to hear. "Fuckin' A!"


End file.
